Negotiations and Love Songs

I had a good cry yesterday. It started on the way home, as I was thinking about the looming disintegration of my family. It continued throughout dinner preparation, right up to the dinner hour. My tears were fueled by genuine sadness, but also by the growing volume of estrogen in my blood stream. I would have never cried without it. Like so much in my life right now, I feel both sadness and happiness toward the event. I am sad that I was so sad I cried uncontrollably, but happy that estrogen in my blood supply helped make it possible.

The Mrs. and I talked after dinner about our situation a little bit. She told me that she is happy to be unpregnant, dieting, exercising, and spending more time with our little girl. I asked her, after three glasses of cheap wine, if she was trying to firm up, so she could replace me. She looked me square in the eye and told me that she had no interest in dating other people right now, because she’s very focused on being a better, more productive person and taking care of our girl. She did say that once I start to dress as a girl, she wants to seperate, because she is not into girls and she doesn’t want to be with one. I slyly mentioned a time when she told me she was very attracted to a woman, but she just said that she wasn’t interested in being with women. I guess that’s that.

All in all, I do feel better, having cried and having had the conversation about our relationship status. Now I’m considering painting my nails and buying some new underwear.



2 Responses to “Negotiations and Love Songs”

  1. longislandbree Says:

    Kate.. just found your site and all I can say is that I am so very sorry for you and your family. I hope things get better..


    • Kate Says:

      Thanks, Keri. As tough as its been for my wife and I, everyone else in my life has been nothing but supportive. I guess you win some, you lose some.

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