Hormones: Week Five Update

My marriage has been the most significant issue during the past week. Namely, my wife has made it clear that she doesn’t intend to stay with me if I transition. More problematically for me, she has windrawn her love and affection from the relationship, which is driving me absolutely nuts. I actually broke down mid-week and told her that I would drop the entire thing, if she would just take me into her arms again. She said I was delusional and that such was not a promise I could make. I’m desperate to reconnect the marriage, because I love my wife more than I should. Nothing seems to be working, though, and I’m going totally insane trying to fix things. Unfortunately, I feel paralyzed to leave, since I want to stay and make this work.

The physical changes have been few in the past week. My public hair does seem to be taking a female pattern and my chest appears ready for its next steps: the development of breast tissue. The fat I’ve developed on my chest has settled in and is now almost entirely on the front of me, where it will nicely compliment my new breast tissue, if I make it through to week six without stoping hormone use. I did try to call my therapist today, to keep myself moving ahead, but she is on vacation for the next week. I am totally a mess and need someone to kidnap me!

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2 Responses to “Hormones: Week Five Update”

  1. Christina Anne Says:

    Hi,

    You have to be you – I hate to say it but giving up on you for another will not solve things and the issue will come back later.

    There are caring people in the world who will love you for you. I have a girlfriend who really wants me to transition fully so she can see me happy. I know you must being going though hell with the relationship and having been there in other relationships, it sucks…..

    Be true to who you are – if your wife cannot accept you for who you are and who you are on the inside, then it is her loss….

    I look forward to getting on hormones myself and have plenty of fear about jobs and coming out to a homophobic father – augh! Hang in there – you can do it!

    Cheers~
    Christina Anne

  2. Kate Says:

    Hi Christina,

    Thanks for your words of wisdom and support. Your thoughts echo the words of many of the caring and supportive people in my life.

    Unfortunately, I’m just not ready to leave my wife behind. I know that seems strange, but the best advice is often to follow your heart, especially when your head is unsure. So, we’ll see how things go…

    Thanks again,

    Kate

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