How to Stay a Boy

In my adolescence, I tried many things to address my gender disorientation, including some ideas that were especially ill founded. Here are some of my regular approaches:

  • Prayer – There aren’t many religious bones in my body, but I think that appealing to a higher power is the number one approach for boys who want to become girls. Its really just wishing, with a targeted genie in mind.  I prayed off and on for years, including a solid run of some 2,000 plus nights from age 14 to 20. How do I know I prayed 2,000 nights? Glad you asked. On those nights, I started my prayers with, “Dear God, I come to you tonight for the 1,432nd night in a row…”
  • Eat Plastic Wrap -The local paper reported that pseudo-estrogens in plastics were changing the genders of fish and helping girls start puberty at increasingly earlier ages. By extrapolating the data, I hypothesized that I, too, could benefit from the hormonal impact of plastics. So, for an unknown length of time in my teens, I regularly chewed on plastic wrap. Sadly, for me, nothing happened. Well, something probably happened – I probably shortened my life and increased my risk of cancer, substantially.
  • Hypnosis – At our senior all night party in high school, a hypnotist made a bunch of my classmates do silly things. This, naturally, demonstrated to me the power of hypnosis and made me wonder if it could help change my body from male to female. I did some research on the subject, tried some chants, and even went so far as to make a CD copy of some of those chants, which I’d listen to at night, before bed. My fascination with hypnosis quickly faded, however, as it became clear the results were lacking.

It wasn’t until I was 24 that I sought real solutions to my problems; it was then that I went, nervously, to a licensed psychologist and an endocrinologist. Their solutions were so effective, I got scared off a few more years, before deciding to make a real go of it.


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